A Reflection on Firsts

The Slow as Molasses Press

To the extent that 
I understand Firsts 
as originating in feelings 
(derived 
I infer 
from some effort to 
sense what is 
"coming up" 
in one's consciousness, 
having willed to 
seek to 
plumb it, 
it seems to me 
that a First 
begins with 
that feeling 
and that it is 
then named 
with one or more terms. 
For example, 
Loose Ends or 
Unfinished Business.
 
Naming 
(using words to 
describe signs 
or feelings) 
is our 
editing of 
reality. 
We determine 
what a first is 
by such a process of 
feeling and 
naming. 
I am referring to 
the actual experience 
I have 
when I engage in 
intentional, 
conscious thinking. 
I wonder 
if this is
others' 
"experience of a first". 

To continue 
the exercise 
I have mentioned, 
the "experience" 
might more generally be 
called "the past" 
or "what is not now". 
It is exactly 
what I went through 
yesterday 
on returning home 
from a weekend filled 
with things that left me 
quite overloaded 
(loose ends, 
the past, 
etc.) 
Or so I felt.
 
The result of 
my cogitations 
was a few actions 
and expressions 
I doubt 
I would have had 
the "presence of mind" 
to do 
if I had not allowed 
the process 
to move through 
an ethical index 
and culminate 
as it did.